Do you feel like giving up and stopping infertility treatment? Are you discouraged and wondering if you will be able to get pregnant and have a baby? Hang onto your hope… even if it feels like you are hanging on a cliff by your fingernails. I know this is your dream to be a mother, and when you start the negative thoughts and fears, you feel terrible emotionally. You start worrying, your energy is zapped, and you are not enjoying your life.
I also believe that moving form hope to despair has negative effects on your body, which includes your fertility. You imagine life as a pregnant woman will be your main source of joy, and this is just an illusion you are creating. You have so much joy in your life, you just may not be noticing on your joyful moments throughout the day.
So how do you stay hopeful when you are getting your period every month, spending lots of money on treatments which have not been successful, and feeling like you do not fit in the fertile world of pregnant women and new mothers? Isn’t hope really a choice, an attitude, a belief? We actually can control our thoughts rather than allow them to control us.
There are so many important choices we make in life, such as who to marry and which job to accept. When you were walking down the aisle on your wedding day, were you saying to yourself: “Why I am I doing this? Our marriage probably won’t work out since 50% of marriages end in divorce anyway.” No, you were choosing to think positively that your marriage would be successful and happy. When you accept a new job, do you tell yourself,”This job probably won’t be a good fit for me. Since so many people are unemployed and getting laid off, that will most likely happen to me.” No, you were hopeful and excited about this new career opportunity. You can talk to yourself the same way each day while you ware trying to become pregnant.
What are these hopeful conversations you can have in your head or say out loud? Try saying this mantra to yourself several times each day: “I will have a successful pregnancy and become a mother. I am hopeful and feel positive that this will happen when the time is right.” Look in the mirror as you say your mantra, and let the feelings and thoughts resonate within you. This is the positive, fertile energy you want to surround yourself with, not the doubts and worries.
The key is to stay in this present moment. This moment of believing that you are fertile and will get pregnant. The timetable for pregnancy is unknown, but you can stay the course each month and remain confident that your dream will come to pass. If someone told you today that you would be pregnant in 16 months if you stayed in treatment for infertility, would you find each month of treatment more manageable? Give this some thought, and consider the positive suggestions and statements you can integrate in to your daily life.
This journey is not an easy one. I know this from personal experience of staying in treatment for 8 years to have my two sons. I felt so much better each day when I stayed hopeful and positive. My friends used to ask me why I continued to endure treatments for infertility, and I would respond saying, “I really want to be a mother, and I believe I will get pregnant. That’s why I choose to stay in treatment.” Create a mantra of hope that feels right for you, and let it become an integral part of how you talk to yourself throughout each day.
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