ABANDON ANY HOPE OF FRUITION “Fruition” implies that at some future time you will feel good. One of the most powerful Buddhist teachings is that as long as you are wishing for things to change, they never will. As long as you’re wanting yourself to get better, you won’t. As long as you are oriented toward the future, you can never just relax into what you already have or already are. ..a quote from Teachings by Pema Chödrön, from works published by Shambhala Publications
I have become aware of how much fear is present in women who are undergoing infertility treatments. Sometimes it’s hard to differentiate fear from anxiety or worry, but I think there are some clear differences. Many women say: “If I fear the worst will happen and expect the worst, then if it happens, I already expected it so the bad news will be easier to manage.” In fact, I have never found this to be true.
What my clients have taught me, as well as what I have experienced in my own personal life, is that when our lives do not unfold as we had hoped they would, we always feel sadness, disappointment, and sometimes anger. Even if we have assumed and prepared for the worst outcome, the end result is that the sadness, the disappointment, and the anger are always the same.
Let’s take the example of preparing for a new in vitro fertilization cycle. Continue reading
Most women I talk with who are going through infertility have difficulty sleeping at least three nights per week. Sleep is so vital to our physical and mental health, and there are many things you can do to prepare for a good night’s sleep. I want to share some tips which can help you improve your sleeping patterns, fall asleep easily, and stay asleep.
Decrease your caffeine intake. Caffeine disrupts your natural sleep cycle. If you consume caffeine during the second half of the day, it is an even bigger obstacle to deep sleep during the night.
Avoid naps during the day until your sleep patterns are stable. If you still need a nap during the day, a 20 minute nap is optimal to re-energize.
Dim the lights in your home as the sun goes down. This signals to your mind that it is time to wind down and transition from your active day into a more relaxing evening. As the sun sets, the pineal gland is able to sense the change in light transmitted through your eyes, and it begins to secrete a hormone, melatonin, to prepare your body for sleep. While eating dinner, light candles and dim your lights. This is not only romantic, it’s also very relaxing. Continue reading
Happy Valentines Day! This is a perfect day to celebrate and be grateful for your wonderful partner. What if you celebrated your relationship not just today…but every day? If your sex life has decreased during infertility treatment, you are not alone. Why should you settle for an infrequent or unfulfilling sexual relationship with your partner? You deserve better.
During the past twenty-two years, I have specialized in counseling individuals, couples and groups who are experiencing infertility. I talk with couples openly and intimately about how their sex life is affected during infertility treatments, and I have never heard a couple say their sex life improved during treatment. Instead, their sexual activity ranges form ‘about the same” to “non-existent”. Continue reading
Have you ever wondered if your lubricant could be interfering with pregnancy? This is a great article with all the information you need to know.
Reuters Health Information
Study Warns Some Lubricants Could Block Conception
By Ronnie Cohen
February 05, 2014
NEW YORK (Reuters Health) – Couples trying to conceive may want to avoid some common sexual lubricants, which a new study says can harm sperm and reduce the chances of pregnancy.