How To Turn Around The Secret Heartache Of Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day (and Father’s Day) are approaching, and they are especially hard for one out of every eight couples of childbearing age who are struggling with infertility. Some of the most painful aspects of this secret heartache, include:

* The 2012 Mother’s Day is a stark reminder that another year has passed and you have not been blessed with a pregnancy or baby. You feel left out, rather than special and important.

* With the abundance of advertising in preparation for Mother’s Day, it is a painful reminder that you have not been successful in fulfilling your dream of being a mother.

* Churches, synagogues, and places of worship are avoided because the sermons are focused on celebrating what you most yearn to celebrate with all the other parents.

* During family meals and gatherings, conversation often centers on anyone who is pregnant or has young children. These conversations are uncomfortable, sad, and upsetting.

* Friends and family may ask questions such as, “When are you going to start a family?” or “Do you think you will be a mother soon?” It is challenging to respond creatively with upset yourself or others.

 Here is some advice for how to stay calm and enjoy Mother’s Day:

* Do something new and different as a couple. Maybe this is the year you and your partner go out of town for a romantic weekend together, get massages, or spend the day hiking.

* Hang out with friends who are not pregnant and having babies.

* If you decide to be with family, send an email to family members in advance explaining what you’re going through, and let them know that if the conversation turns to babies when you get together, you may not stay. It’s nice to spend some time with your mother  or grandmother reflecting on the the many things you appreciate about them.

Try not to let this Hallmark occasion negatively affect you. It’s just a day and does not have to be filled with negative emotions. Go do something you enjoy and buy some flowers for yourself. A little pampering always feels good.


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